Wednesday, February 25, 2015

And She Still Got On That Train

Instead of my usual type of blog posts, I figured I’d give you a little enjoyable read instead. I’m fairly certain that in an earlier blog post I had mentioned that I’m an aspiring writer. If I’m mistaken, then I am going to tell you that I am an aspiring writer. I have a couple of diplomas in children’s literature somewhere around the place. That being said, I haven’t posted any of my fiction on here so I decided to give you a treat. The following is a short story that I wrote for my first assignment for my first course in children’s literature. I got the idea from two songs that were played back to back on the radio one night as I was driving home from work. Extra points if you can tell me which two songs!!




The rain sounded like thousands of tiny horses galloping along the roof of the small coffee shop. Zack looked out at the depressing setting and sighed beneath his breath. Chloe, his best friend and secret love-of-his-life, was not just leaving town but leaving the province as well. Her father was transferred half the country away and in all likelihood Zack and Chloe would never see each other again.

Chloe sneezed and Zack turned away from his downcast thoughts and, not for the first time, got lost in her brilliant blue eyes. He knew he was staring but he just couldn’t help it. She was absolutely gorgeous.

“Uhh, Zack?” Chloe waved her hand passed Zack’s face. “Are you alright?”

Zack blinked and forced a smile. “Alright? Yeah. Of course. Are you?”

“Let’s see. I’m moving half way across the country. I’m leaving my school. I’m leaving my friends. I’m leaving behind the only life I’ve ever known. Yes, Zack. I’m just peachy.”

“But at least you haven’t lost your sarcastic sense of humour.” Zack grinned and sipped his coffee. Again, his thoughts turned back to his secret crush. The way that she smiled was angelic to him. Not that she did much smiling since she found out about the transfer. The special mischevious gleam in her eye was gone as well.

“Hey, Chloe. If your dad has turned down transfers before, why did he take this one?” Zack asked. Chloe’s father had turned down many transfers before even though they would unvariably mean a much better pay.

“He was told that if he didn’t transfer he no longer had a place with the company.” Chloe spat. “He’s worked long and hard to get where he is and to have an altimatum like that. It’s like a slap in the face.”

“It’s unfortunate how corporations can treat people like that. Everything is about money these days.”

“You’re right, Zack. But as much as I’d love to debate this with you all night, I do have a train to catch.” Chloe looked past Zack and nodded. “C’mon. My parents are calling.” She got up and walked to the door, leaving Zack to wonder how he ended up carrying her bags.

The rain was coming down much harder than it was before as the stepped out of the coffee shop and walked over to the train platform. Zack looked over to the dark skyline and suppressed a shudder. He’d never been out east, and he knew Chloe had never been out east as well, but he heard a bit about the city she was about to move to on the news. People were much different there than they were from their cozy small town and he silently prayed that she’d be safe.

“Chloe, I… I have something to tell you.” Zack stammered. “We’ve known each other for a long time…” He looked up and saw that she was crying. Maybe it was the rain streaming down her face, but the look of pain and fear in her eye’s was evident. “Chloe, are you alright?”

Chloe hugged Zack tightly. “I’m going to miss you, Zack!” she sobbed. “I’ll call you when I get there.” And then she practically ran into the train, leaving Zack standing alone in the rain as the train started to move. Zack watched Chloe leave him as a lump threatened to burst from his throat.

“I love you, Chloe.” Zack said to the air as he watched the train slowly fade into the cloudy night. When he could no longer see the train he turned and dejectedly walked back to his car. He had missed his chance to tell her how he felt. He knew those tracks would lead to heartache and pain, and he still let her get on that train.


And that’s a little sample of my writing. The setting is a tad modern for me (I usually write medieval fantasy settings) but I enjoyed writing it and one day would like to revisit Zack and Chloe. So, what’d you think? Feedback is always welcome. Would you like to read more of my little drabbles? Let me know.

Monday, February 23, 2015

You're in CISN Country

A persons tastes change drastically over the years. From literal tastes as in food, to the more materialistic tastes in the types of clothes you wear and the preferential tastes of your choice in movies and hobbies... Tastes grow with the person.

One thing that hasn't changed for me is my taste in music. Okay, that's not entirely true. I've added musical choices to my playlists. But my one constant and true first musical love is country music. No other type of music stirs me quite so much. No other type of music resonates with me as much.

And my constant radio station has ALWAYS been CISN Country. For the entirety of my 30 year lifespan, CISN has been there for me. Good times or bad, they have been preset one on my radio dial. I've stuck with them through DJs coming and going, music artists retiring and new ones popping up. And I can honestly say that I will always continue to listen.

Thank you to all the personalities and staff at CISN. You make my drives and random radio listening as enjoyable as you possibly can.

Friday, February 20, 2015

Visions of Pompeii

In 79 AD Mount Vesuvius erupted. That eruption led to the destruction and burial of the Roman cities of Pompeii and Herculaneum. And with the destruction of the Roman cities, an estimated 16,000 people perished in that fateful year.

Fast-forward 1,937 years and Pompeii is one of Italy’s most famous and popular tourist destinations. Understandably so as well. Because of the city being covered in pumice and ash due to the eruption, Pompeii is truly a time capsule of the lost Roman glory days.

In early December 2012, I got the opportunity to visit the historic site. It was, truly, one of my most treasured visits of our Europe trip. Roman and Greek history is one of my interests and Pompeii was too good to pass up on. The ability to see unaltered Roman architecture… The snippets of how people lived… The sense of awe and wonder walking through ancient streets… It was glorious.

So much so that I’m highly considering visiting again in June. I want to see more of it. I only got the chance to see a little of the city before out time ran out. And it was raining while we were there. That may have hampered the enjoyment somewhat. MAY have. It was still one of my favourite experiences.

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

What I Want From 2015

As I said in my Spain post, 2015 is going to be my year. I’m going to grow and learn who I am. Who I have always been but forgotten. Here’s a list of things that I want to accomplish this year and yes, I do realize that I am almost 2 months behind, but some things can’t be avoided. And the events of those 2 months have led me to the creation of this list. Without them I would have just remained comfortable with where I was.

#1. I want to travel. This I have already made steps towards. I booked flights to Spain. I’ve also decided that I am going to go on one big trip a year. Life is too short no to, and you can always make more money.

#2. I want to look and feel the best that I possibly can. Operation: Superhero is the means to this end. Eating better, working out and just trying to live a better lifestyle.

#3. Sincerious Communication. I want to continue to work on opening up and talking about my thoughts and feelings. Communicating freely, openly and honestly about anything.

#4. I want to meet people. I want to establish new friendships. I eventually want a new relationship (when I feel I am able and ready to, that is). And both of those can only be achieved by meeting new people.

#5. I want to become less attached to material items. Everything you need, you carry around with you. I want to minimize my collection of ‘crap’. Go through my stack of comic book/Star Wars related T-shirts and get rid of the ones that I don’t wear. It’s a start.

#6. I want to spend less money on frivolous things. Get my savings in order to afford travel and day-to-day expenses (ie: rent, bills, gas, etc..). And I can’t do that if I spend my money on a whim whenever something catches my eye.

#7. I want to go out and have fun again. I want to be able to enjoy myself without constantly feeling guilty or depressed thinking about what I had and lost. But that will come in time when I have moved on from my grieving stage.

#8. I don’t want to take anything for granted anymore. For the last 6.5 years I have taken my relationship for granted. Not that I’ve taken advantage of her. That is not my meaning at all. Or that I didn’t appreciate her and all that she was/is/will continue to be. What I mean is that I took for granted that she would be with me. Be there for me when I needed her. Be there when I got home from a late night at work. Forever. And I think that assumption caused me to become a little stagnant in my attention to her. Or it caused her to believe that I don’t/didn’t appreciate her. Nothing could be farther from the truth, but I don’t know what thoughts crossed her mind or how she thinks anymore. But I digress. I want to live life to its fullest and appreciate all the small things. Not take them for granted as always present and there. Sometimes things/people leave and all you can do is pick up the pieces.

#9. I want to strengthen the relationships that I DO still have. Create stronger bonds with friends. Those friends were sort of put on the back burner because I spent so much time focusing on my relationship. And, to be honest, she didn’t like that the majority of my friends are women. I can understand that really. But looking at my life right now, she’s gone and my friends are still here. It’s time to give them a bit of the spotlight that was reserved for her.

#10. Finding myself. Probably the most cliché thing on this list. I used to be strong. So very independent. I was never afraid of being alone. It didn’t bother me. And then I fell in love. I changed. I’m not the same person I was 7 years ago. Hell, I’m not even the same person I was 1 year ago.  Now the question is, who am I now? How much have I changed? How much have I stayed the same? How much further do I have to go before I can be happy with myself again? Who is ‘Chad’?

I’m going to endeavor to work on this list over the course of the year. Some of the points I’ve started to work on. Some of them I’m not ready to yet. But one thing is for sure. This is going to be a doozy of a year for me.

Monday, February 16, 2015

A Valentine's Day Letter

Hello sweetie,

It has been a long time since I’ve called you that. A very long time. Your absence is killing me a little bit at a time. I never ever saw this coming for us, and I never ever wanted it to. I am terrified that you will meet someone else and that they will replace me in what little space you have in your enormous heart that is still reserved for me. I must admit that I feel in my gut that you HAVE met someone else, and it hurts. And I’m scared and worried that you met and fell for this person before our “issues”.

My head knows that our relationship is over. You don’t want to pursue it anymore. You want to move on without me and see if someone else is able to give you what you believe I cannot. I understand that. But I only understand it in my head. My heart, however, still belongs to you. And it always will. I know you tried to give it back to me. I know you tried to be as gentle as you could with it, that instrument of eternal and undying love. But as I told you, I gave it to you freely. It is yours to do with as you will. And what you do with it is your choice, but I cannot accept it back. I have no say or control over what you do with it. I never have. I have always belonged to you. I hesitate to use the term “enslaved” because of the negative connotations, but in a sense that is exactly what I am. I am enslaved to you. I don’t have a choice on how I feel. I am forever yours.

I know this is not what you want to hear. Not at all. I worry that all this pushes you farther and farther away from me and you resent me. I don’t want you to resent me any more than you already do. Again, I know you don’t want to hear this, but please bear with me.

My precious Dani. I will forever be indebted to you. And I will continue to pour my heart out until I have nothing left to say. Unfortunately for you, you will always have to suffer through annoyance with me because I will never run out of things to say to you. I have spent so long with you not saying anything and now the flood gates have been opened and I can’t seem to stop. I can only imagine how crazy I am making you, but in the same sense you are making me crazy as well.

But the goal for this letter is not to make you annoyed. Or resent me. Or rehash issues that you believe we have. Believe it or not, this letter is for me to wish you happiness.

I have always wanted you to be happy, Dani. I have never wanted anything more. I, of course, would like to be happy as well, but if it was a choice between your happiness or mine, I would choose yours every time.

I want you to dance. You deserve to go dancing. Dance in the sun. Dance in the rain. Dance underneath the moon and the stars. Let yourself go out and be free. Enjoy your time and have fun.

I want you to go out with your friends. I want you to truly enjoy it too. Don’t let doubt and frustrations get in your way of enjoying yourself. You deserve so much more than you ever get.

I want you to find beauty in the rain and the sun. You are gorgeous. If not the most beautiful (in my eyes you are), you are quite possibly one of the most beautiful young women that I have ever met. I am honoured that you chose to spend as long as you did with me. I couldn’t stand it when people were flirting with you in front of me, but I could also understand why they would want to. I want you to find beauty in everything to match your own natural beauty.

I want you to be proud of yourself. I am proud to have been able to call you my love, even if it was only for a short time. And I want your pride to match how proud I am of you. You chose to do things that many people could only dream of! You lived in a foreign country for three months. You didn’t know a single word of the language or knew a single person before you went there. That takes courage and strength. Be proud. Be proud of ALL of your accomplishments, no matter how small and insignificant they may seem. Be happy and proud.

I want you to be you. You know who YOU are. You have always known. You may have said that you didn’t to make this move more convenient and easier for you in your mind, but you have always known who you are. And I know who you are too just like you know who I am. You are kind and sweet. You have one of the biggest hearts that I have ever had the pleasure of being touched by. You are a little bit of a dork, but in a stylish and classy sort of way. You made hard things easy for me when we were together and you still are and always will be the love of my life. You are one of the most caring people that I have ever met. You genuinely care about people even though you like to act like you don’t. You are stunning and gorgeous and have a spark and a light that I cannot possibly define in words.

And I miss you. Oh so much. When you were in Europe it was so much easier. You were mine and I was yours. Now, however, I am yours but you are no longer mine.

I miss everything about you. Even all your habits that used to annoy me. I miss your hair all over everything. I miss you pushing me down on the bed and jumping on me while I am reading. I miss you leaving the cupboards open and your fake pouting when you aren’t getting your way. I miss you snuggling up to me in bed, making me sweat uncontrollably. I miss your wet hair on my pillow after your shower. I miss your morbid fascination with reality TV. I miss watching our shows and discussing them afterwards. I miss your infectious enthusiasm and drive. I miss you tickling me, causing me to giggle and squirm. I even miss you punching me in the arm. I miss YOU.

You are my first, Dani. For everything. You have taught me and shown me things that I could only wonder about with fascination. Every kiss, every hug, every hand hold, every talk, every late night we have ever had. And I desperately wanted you to be my forever. I was too late to be YOUR first, but I wanted to be your LAST.

And I know you know what you mean to me. I wish I could mean to you right now what I meant to you before.

You will ALWAYS be in my heart. You will ALWAYS have my love. You will ALWAYS be my Dani.

Happy Valentine’s Day, baby.